Monday, December 12, 2011
Better Watch Out
After months of angst, I have finally discovered what became of my down comforter. It's been missing and now that we are in the winter weather I need it on my bed to keep me comfy, warm and toasty. Naturally I was quick to assume that the daughter of Steve mistakenly took it off to school and I was grumpy about that. Then I started pricing similar comforters and was horrified to discover that I would have to give up about 10 tanks of gas to pay for it. We've been huddling and shivering under the summer weight down blanket and a quilt which I assure you after many years of down puffiness when it is cold, down flatness is a poor substitute. So anyway, I've been crying and whining and muttering and sending not so subtle hints about this catastrophe for some time now. Last night I asked the spouse to send a text to his child to inquire if she had the comforter and if so would she bring it home so we could get it when we visit at Christmas and he said ok. He said it in that way that you just know really means, "if you will just shut up I will agree to anything you have to moan and bitch about." This being the case, I reminded him this morning to text the child and he said, "You know I think I might have that at the office from when I took it to sleep with when I had to spend countless evenings sleeping on the floor of my office during the fair." He went on to say, "Would you like me to drop it off at the dry cleaners?" This can only mean that I should probably, in the case of public health and what not, contact the guys in the hazard suits to come dispose of it. I'd forgotten that little inconvenience for him, it in no way affected me. So a conundrum. Do I whine and cry because I still don't have a comforter? Do I praise the addle-pated spouse for belatedly remembering that he was the culprit in the missing comforter case? And more importantly, do I have to apologize to the child for defaming her character, or do I just keep quiet and assume that no doubt I missed some other egregious act and the defaming was warranted? You just don't find the answers to stuff like this on Jerry Springer. Or even Ellen.
So this time next week we'll have placed the doggies in puppy purgatory at the kennel, and should be winging our way to North Carolina for the holidays. I've already regaled you with the anticipated expectations, great or not. It's the holiday travel that has me in knots. We leave on the 19th, which may be early and we might, just might miss the havoc that is holiday bad travel juju. But we come home on the 26th. Now tell me, is this a good day to travel or a really stupid idea in its entirety? There is always the possibility of getting bumped due to the airline over selling the seats and the ever present opportunity to get free flights to where ever you want. Conversely there is the danger of sitting next to Uncle Joe in the middle seat. He will be grossly overweight and suffering from way too much brandy in his eggnog and a little too much stuffing in his gullet. These types always like to tell you about every aspect of their lives with little regard to mortifying halitosis. Since at that point Christmas will be over and therefore there will be no point in being good and watching out, I fear that my limit will be breached in a remarkably short time span. The FFA frowns on cranky passengers. I must desperately hope for the free flight and the bumping it entails. And speaking of bumping ticketed passengers. WTF airline? And what's with the $$charge for bags? And in what level of sanity do you expect people to b.u.y. that swill you foist on them disguised as a meal? I feel a full on "episode" coming my way. Wanna go with?
But before we enjoy our trip, we must first get through this week. It looks something like this:
I hope you all have the holiday you deserve. Or at least, deserve a holiday.