Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Catch Up Time

'Sup y'all?  I'm back after a refreshing trip to Carmel and Carmel Valley.  It's nice to have homes where you want to go isn't it? 

So the shower.  Instead of being a good friend and co-host, I went on a trail ride with my hosts in CV on Tuesday morning which went on forever.  And a mighty good time it was as well.  But this meant that I missed that vital shopping experience with my co-host, Nora, who left me a voice mail message asking if everyone was alright.  I was a little bit late (two hours) and she was worried.  So anyway, I did the cleaning up of Mr. Davey after our ride, cleaned his tack and cleaned myself and scurried off to the end of the world in Carmel to the scene of the shower. 

The house sits on a bluff on the ocean.  The ocean moves and crashes on rocks and what not and it is a breathtaking view so it pretty much doesn't matter what the house looks like.  It could be a yurt and it would still be an awe inspiring place to hang out.  However, the house is gorgeous too and once we got all the food and decor out on the deck it looked ready for our guests.  Guests.  They all showed up in a group, so one minute you're sitting around having a pre-party libation and the next there are 20 people milling around and there are introductions and what not and suddenly the party is in full swing.  The guest of honor looked every inch a bride to be, glowing, beautiful and obviously in love.  Whatever.  So we did the eat and drink thing.  I tried to talk to everyone, not sure that happened, but I did reconnect with M.O.B ( mother of the bride) with whom I have had a couple memorable incidents with.  She just kills me.  We have the same humor, which is somewhat tragic, but other than that I re-love her every time we meet.  Plus she gave Nora and me boxes of truffles which is always a good idea.  Nora shared hers with the party, I hid mine in my bag to take home.

So the bride got lots of good stuff.  Some gift givers are inspired and it's always fun to see what they will come up with.  Actually it makes the rest of us look like plebeians, but there you have it.  Sometimes I pretend that I have really good taste AND imagination; it usually doesn't work out so well.  I should remember to stick with the gift registry.  Eventually everyone left, Nora and I cleaned up till we were bored with that, I went back to Carmel Valley and went to bed.

The next morning I was, naturally, the last one up so I made some coffee and eventually looked outside to see if anyone was around, cause they certainly weren't in the house making me breakfast.  There was lots going on with the riding of the horses and jumping them over huge jumps and all like that.  They were all leaving for a horse show the next day so a pre-show tune up was in order for the riders and horses alike.  I mosied on outside to enjoy the show. I adjusted the height of the fences up or down as needed and generally just sat around in the sunshine drinking my coffee and enjoying the atmosphere.

Later that day the girls and I went to lunch, cause that is a good thing to do, then went to look at horses.  And then we went shopping.  All in all a very girlie day.  Because I am nothing if not an exemplary wife, I scuttled on home after that whirlwind day and met my beloved on the couch in our casa and caught up on our amazing lives.  Since that didn't take very long we watched the teevee and then went to bed.

The next day I got up, repacked and headed on down to Carmel Valley again.  What you say?  You just were just there!  Yes, I say I was, good on you for catching that.  You see, and this is confusing even for me, I had planned the following schedule for myself.

Monday:  Go to Carmel Valley to prepare for Athena's bridal shower/posh cocktail party
Tuesday:  Attend Athena's bridal shower/posh cocktail party
Wednesday:  Go Home
Thursday morning:  Go to Petaluma to house sit off and on for the Petaluma royalty and feed and clean up after their horses
Thursday night:  Go to Carmel Valley to feed and what ever for the horses there
Friday:  Prepare for and attend Athena's wedding, and look pretty sharp in in my $17 dress and sparkly shoes.
Friday night:  Return to Petaluma to resume house and critter sitting.

As is usual in my life, I had gone to all the trouble to arrange this schedule and was thinking that I was a master at eking out the most of  every hour of every day.  Then the Empress called and said she had done something to her shoulder and my valuable expertise was not going to be needed after all. So much for my valuable time management skills.  So yes, dear reader, Thursday I drove back to Carmel Valley  and fussed over the two horses left at home, cleaned myself up and went to dinner with friends.  And indeed why not?  Because I had to get up at 7:00 a.m. to feed, change blankets and turnout the horses that's why not.  But I did all that then immediately went back to bed for three hours with the boxer dog.  nice.

Well after that nice nap I had to scurry along and rearrange the horses turn out situations, then I had to do something about my look which involved taking a shower, mowing my legs and slathering on cosmetics and deodorant.  Then I put on the $17 dress and the sparkly shoes and took myself off to Carmel to pick up Nora so we would have dates for the wedding and hustled back to Carmel Valley to save seats for those folks who weren't there yet.  The wedding itself was dreamy.  Athena's wedding dress was sensational all tulle and fabric flowers and strapless and amazing.  You are a girly girl, girl.

We then repaired to the reception area where it became quickly evident that mixing champagne and lemonade made a scrumptious libation and should be consumed with no regard to sobriety.  So we did that and ate some yummy hors d'oeurves and had a little sit down dinner.  Again yummy.  In spite of the champagne cocktails we behaved in a circumspect manner except for that dance which is, unfortunately, memorialized digitally.  It portrays me as looking um awkward.  Which you know I'm not, but perhaps those cocktails are to blame, yes, that's it.  I feel better now.

So I stayed in Carmel Valley till Sunday morning because frankly I was sick to death of driving up and down the highway, it's boring and the A/C in my car is dicey at best.  As I mentioned before, I am an exemplary wife and proved it again on Sunday when I stopped by the place of employment of my beloved who was neck deep in a hippie festival (read Woodstock) being held at the fairgrounds in the middle of Vallejo a.k.a. the hood.   Not wanting to miss out on this spectacle I drove around the fairgrounds with Steve and stared slack jawed at the hippies.  I don't believe I've seen that many stoners in one place since college...maybe high school and the danger of a contact high was imminent.   So it was like a three day "festival" and as such it was de rigour to have vendors selling lots of hippy stuff.  I purchased some duds for my soon to be born grandson and a matching something for the new father to be, considered hemp clothing and a henna tattoo but thought better of it, or rather Steve did and so having had all the fun I was going to have that day I soon left for the homestead.

I got to be home all of Monday then Tuesday I once again repacked my bags and headed over to Petaluma.  You see while the empress was too damaged to ride and provide me with income over last weekend, she is not too damaged to run off for another of those sexy holidays with her beloved for their anniversary celebration.  How nice for them.  I, on the other hand am taking care of the nine horses who are here and will soon go outside again and chase them around on a lunge line.  I will go home tomorrow after meeting the vet for his assessment of some who have done something to themselves.  Horses are like that.  And I am  like that too.

I have reached the end of my creativeness for today.  When next we meet up I shall be in New Mexico.  For two weeks.  Waiting for a baby.  And waiting, waiting, waiting.  Its mother was ten days late, its aunt was three weeks late and its other aunt was a week late till I ordered it to be born via induction.  So I have no illusions that this new baby will arrive on schedule on the 3rd of October and as such I have planned my arrival for the 5th.  Let's just see how that works out for us shall we?

Until then,

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

But Enough About Me, What About You? What Do You Think About Me?

Things that have happened this week (or month).  I went to the gym, (applause), I went to Costco (boo) I went to Lowes (yawn) and I visited the Horse Show Mom (HSM) at her palatial estate in the whine country.  Actually I visited with her twice.  Why you ask?  Well I havent' the foggiest idea, but as usual when I don't have to slave for her I am amused by her.  Take, for instance, Sunday night.  Phone call transcript...verbatim

HSM:  What are you doing?
Me:  Wondering why I answered the phone.
HSM:  What ever, would you inconvenience yourself tremendously by driving an hour over to Sonoma to pick up my son and stay the night because I'm running late and he's at my parents and he needs to go home?
Me:  Are you kidding?
HSM:  Thanks Man.
Me:  Wait a cotton picking minute, I should consult with my beloved because he becomes bereft when I'm not there to watch TeeVee with him (translate:  he wants me to cook for him and fetch the Its Its from the freezer)
HSM:  He'll be fine.
Me:  (showing tremendous strength of will...) I'll call you back.
HSM:  Really?
Me:  Chill, I'll call you back (maybe)

2nd call:  Me to beloved
Me:  Hello, what are you doing?
Beloved:  Wondering why I answered the phone.
Me:  What ever.
Beloved:   What do you want?
Me:  Oh just to say I love you and is there anything I can do to make your life better?
Beloved:  Don't get me started.  What do you want?
Me:  Muffie called and asked me to drive to her parents to pick up the boy child and spend the night.
Beloved:  Do what you have to do.  (translation:  Do what you have to do and I plan to hold this over your head forever and I will plan something unpleasant for your little friend)
Me:  Thanks man.

3rd call: Me to HSM
HSM:  Are you on your way?
Me:  Hi Muffie, how are you?  How's the show going?  blah blah blah
HSM:  They aren't going on the schedule that best suits me.
Me:  Amazing.  Steve said he is going to plan something unpleasant for you , but it's ok if I come over.  I have to...
HSM:  When are you leaving?
Me:  ...take a shower first, thanks for asking.
HSM:  Thanks man.

So I traveled over to whine country to the fabulous estate of the fabulous horse show moms 'rents and was met by the brother of HSM who was carrying his fairly new offspring and we hugged and said how long it had been and all that and we hugged some more and he said, did you just drive over from the Whine Country Estate and I said no, I drove over from Vacaville, and he said what? and I said, it's so much easier and less time consuming to do what you're asked to do, and he said, yeah, I know.  Then Penny, the HSM's mummy, met me at the front door, also with the hugs and what not and she said, have you eaten, and I said no, but Muffie said I could stop and get the boy child some fries at the pub,  evidently I'll be fine with nothing.  And the Penny said, I'll set another place at the table and I said can I have some whine?  And she said of course...Doug!   So it went and we had a fabulous meal with lot's of really good food, whine, conversation and just a teensy weensy bit of Muffie bashing. 

So that was Sunday and it was a pretty good time.  HSM did arrive home later that evening and as I was cribbed up on the couch with the dogs and the tee vee it took me a little while to meet her outside when she pulled in with the horse trailer and four horses and she had had to take two of them down to the barn by herself before I made an appearance.  That's just ok.

Monday morning we took HSM's offspring to their chi chi private school in their little uniforms.  It's always such an exercise in anti-child battering to spend time in the car with the little darlings, but all too soon we were at the school and they scampered off with their little classmates and I waved bye bye and thought it probably wasn't too early to start drinking.  Starbucks sufficed and we drove around for awhile, then met up with HSM's brother at his hideaway in the middle of somewhere and I examined the pottery he makes and he said he was so grateful that I would be friends with his sister that he gave me a pot he'd made and I love it and it is on the dining room table as we speak.  Quite a bit of info. in that little sentence wasn't there?

Things to do:
    1. Get around to buying airline tickets to New Mexico
    2. Practice being a good mother/mother-in-law/grandmother/guest/visitor
    3. Call Nora re: shower because you haven't done that and it's coming up in one week.
    4. Remind spouse that you'll be gone most of next week and part of the week after that and then for two weeks after that
    5. Buy Mac and Cheese for spouse
    6. Weed out wardrobe and fill in missing basics such as Manolo Blahniks and the Louboutins and that smart little wear "everywhere dress", it's an investment.
    7. Get a life.
    8. Guilt trip children
Why are the dogs, the subject of the last post, bringing rocks in the house?  They also bring in figs and apples from the trees, but do little to clean up the rest of the fallen fruit from the back yard. The fallen are fermenting nicely thank you.  Anyway, I am somewhat suspicious of any darkish brown lumpy things on the carpet, which, conveniently, is white.  I usually creep up on suspect detritus with a load of trepidation, and I'm alway relieved when it is a rock, but of course it isn't always.  It's a good thing they're cute.  I own not one but two carpet cleaners because the carpet is white as are two of the dogs, but their left behinds usually aren't.  Why can't you claim your dogs as dependents?  They are certainly needy enough.  And people get mad if you mistreat them, just like human children.  I'll write a strong letter to my congressperson, whoever that is.  And if you have dogs who are civilized and don't do bad things in the house, kindly keep that to yourself and know that I really couldn't be happier for you.  sigh

Next week is non-stop adventure for yours truly.  I get to be the co-host of a bridal shower AND I get to horse sit AND I get to go to a wedding!  Yeah me.  That all of this means traveling (in order) to Carmel, to Vacaville, to Petaluma, to Carmel Valley and back to Petaluma is of no consequence.  I love parties and I love weddings and I love horses...My life=complete!
Cheers ya'll