Tuesday, September 13, 2011

But Enough About Me, What About You? What Do You Think About Me?

Things that have happened this week (or month).  I went to the gym, (applause), I went to Costco (boo) I went to Lowes (yawn) and I visited the Horse Show Mom (HSM) at her palatial estate in the whine country.  Actually I visited with her twice.  Why you ask?  Well I havent' the foggiest idea, but as usual when I don't have to slave for her I am amused by her.  Take, for instance, Sunday night.  Phone call transcript...verbatim

HSM:  What are you doing?
Me:  Wondering why I answered the phone.
HSM:  What ever, would you inconvenience yourself tremendously by driving an hour over to Sonoma to pick up my son and stay the night because I'm running late and he's at my parents and he needs to go home?
Me:  Are you kidding?
HSM:  Thanks Man.
Me:  Wait a cotton picking minute, I should consult with my beloved because he becomes bereft when I'm not there to watch TeeVee with him (translate:  he wants me to cook for him and fetch the Its Its from the freezer)
HSM:  He'll be fine.
Me:  (showing tremendous strength of will...) I'll call you back.
HSM:  Really?
Me:  Chill, I'll call you back (maybe)

2nd call:  Me to beloved
Me:  Hello, what are you doing?
Beloved:  Wondering why I answered the phone.
Me:  What ever.
Beloved:   What do you want?
Me:  Oh just to say I love you and is there anything I can do to make your life better?
Beloved:  Don't get me started.  What do you want?
Me:  Muffie called and asked me to drive to her parents to pick up the boy child and spend the night.
Beloved:  Do what you have to do.  (translation:  Do what you have to do and I plan to hold this over your head forever and I will plan something unpleasant for your little friend)
Me:  Thanks man.

3rd call: Me to HSM
HSM:  Are you on your way?
Me:  Hi Muffie, how are you?  How's the show going?  blah blah blah
HSM:  They aren't going on the schedule that best suits me.
Me:  Amazing.  Steve said he is going to plan something unpleasant for you , but it's ok if I come over.  I have to...
HSM:  When are you leaving?
Me:  ...take a shower first, thanks for asking.
HSM:  Thanks man.

So I traveled over to whine country to the fabulous estate of the fabulous horse show moms 'rents and was met by the brother of HSM who was carrying his fairly new offspring and we hugged and said how long it had been and all that and we hugged some more and he said, did you just drive over from the Whine Country Estate and I said no, I drove over from Vacaville, and he said what? and I said, it's so much easier and less time consuming to do what you're asked to do, and he said, yeah, I know.  Then Penny, the HSM's mummy, met me at the front door, also with the hugs and what not and she said, have you eaten, and I said no, but Muffie said I could stop and get the boy child some fries at the pub,  evidently I'll be fine with nothing.  And the Penny said, I'll set another place at the table and I said can I have some whine?  And she said of course...Doug!   So it went and we had a fabulous meal with lot's of really good food, whine, conversation and just a teensy weensy bit of Muffie bashing. 

So that was Sunday and it was a pretty good time.  HSM did arrive home later that evening and as I was cribbed up on the couch with the dogs and the tee vee it took me a little while to meet her outside when she pulled in with the horse trailer and four horses and she had had to take two of them down to the barn by herself before I made an appearance.  That's just ok.

Monday morning we took HSM's offspring to their chi chi private school in their little uniforms.  It's always such an exercise in anti-child battering to spend time in the car with the little darlings, but all too soon we were at the school and they scampered off with their little classmates and I waved bye bye and thought it probably wasn't too early to start drinking.  Starbucks sufficed and we drove around for awhile, then met up with HSM's brother at his hideaway in the middle of somewhere and I examined the pottery he makes and he said he was so grateful that I would be friends with his sister that he gave me a pot he'd made and I love it and it is on the dining room table as we speak.  Quite a bit of info. in that little sentence wasn't there?

Things to do:
    1. Get around to buying airline tickets to New Mexico
    2. Practice being a good mother/mother-in-law/grandmother/guest/visitor
    3. Call Nora re: shower because you haven't done that and it's coming up in one week.
    4. Remind spouse that you'll be gone most of next week and part of the week after that and then for two weeks after that
    5. Buy Mac and Cheese for spouse
    6. Weed out wardrobe and fill in missing basics such as Manolo Blahniks and the Louboutins and that smart little wear "everywhere dress", it's an investment.
    7. Get a life.
    8. Guilt trip children
Why are the dogs, the subject of the last post, bringing rocks in the house?  They also bring in figs and apples from the trees, but do little to clean up the rest of the fallen fruit from the back yard. The fallen are fermenting nicely thank you.  Anyway, I am somewhat suspicious of any darkish brown lumpy things on the carpet, which, conveniently, is white.  I usually creep up on suspect detritus with a load of trepidation, and I'm alway relieved when it is a rock, but of course it isn't always.  It's a good thing they're cute.  I own not one but two carpet cleaners because the carpet is white as are two of the dogs, but their left behinds usually aren't.  Why can't you claim your dogs as dependents?  They are certainly needy enough.  And people get mad if you mistreat them, just like human children.  I'll write a strong letter to my congressperson, whoever that is.  And if you have dogs who are civilized and don't do bad things in the house, kindly keep that to yourself and know that I really couldn't be happier for you.  sigh

Next week is non-stop adventure for yours truly.  I get to be the co-host of a bridal shower AND I get to horse sit AND I get to go to a wedding!  Yeah me.  That all of this means traveling (in order) to Carmel, to Vacaville, to Petaluma, to Carmel Valley and back to Petaluma is of no consequence.  I love parties and I love weddings and I love horses...My life=complete!
Cheers ya'll

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