Thursday, July 25, 2013


Where has the time flown off to?  Pretty sure there's absolutely nothing grammatically correct in that first sentence, but I'm a little rusty.  In case you hadn't noticed, this is the first post from Squidgy since April 22.  I missed you.

This will be the year of the babies and Game of Thrones .  They have nothing in common BTW.  They are, however, what's been going on in my life, oh and a majah birthday that needs no more notice.

When last we chatted, I was off to New Mexico to usher in the birth of my second granddaughter.  A word about New Mexico medicine.  Well that won't do, perhaps a collection of words skillfully spun together to create a concise and meaningful thesis.  To Whit:

Old daughter was due to have her baby on April 28, which meant I would have a few days from my arrival on the 24th to make her life a misery I mean help her get organized.  As things go, the baby did not surface on her due date, nor did she make any moves for the whole of another five days.  As is the practice of medical gurus in the "Land of Enchantment", it was decided by the doc-tore that the baby should arrive on the 2nd of May.   And so that he not be inconvenienced in any way, Alison would have her labour* induced in the wee hours, so the baby would be making her imminent arrival at roughly the time his majesty  Doctor so and so would be making his rounds about 7:00 a.m.  Let us consider this for a wee moment.  One doctor who is being compensated handsomely for overseeing what should be a natural occurance, by a healthy adult woman, must not be expected to be at the beck and call of nature to deliver a baby at an hour that might be considered icky.   I continue with my narrative.  At midnight, May 2, Alison, Tim and I set off to the hospital so Alison could be induced with the plan to deliver at the aforementioned convenient hour.  What this really meant was that Tim and I fought over the only couch and I spilled water all over the floor sleeping in a hard rocking chair designed for a freak of nature.  The mother to be was hooked up to all manner of gadgets and tubes and wires to monitor the induction of chemicals to spur on contractions.  What ever.  At any rate, eventually the drugs did their magic and voila' actual labour* commenced.  Then came the time to administer the epidural and that took forever, many jabs, several more medical whoozie doos to run in and out of the room  because the lack wit who was stabbing my daughter in the back just couldn't seem to get the job done, he was finally dismissed to go read up on the epidural for dummies manual and Alison delivered her baby Grace Louise** au naturel with the exception of pitocin or whatever they give you.  The Doctor, in his shiny new couture shoes, was there for the catch, though how he managed that is a mystery since he was mostly amazed at his appearance in the mirror and spent an inordinate amount admiring same.

So that was labor and delivery in New Mexico.  And it was annoying.  The baby weighed in at hale (gettit?) and hearty 8#15oz. and 20 some odd inches long.  In short healthy.  Now it was time for some other medical nitwit to weigh in with his pithy advice.  I paraphrase here,  "Mrs. Ballard, your baby is large and as such may have trouble surviving on breast milk only.  I advise (read order you) you to supplement with some tasty and expensive formula.  Why lookie here, Enfamil has provided you with some samples!  Enfamil underwrites this hospital so you have to use this stuff or we will lose our funding and that would be bad for me."  As I said paraphrasing here, but the formula was certainly um encouraged.  Happily for baby Grace her Auntie Megan arrived the next day, was way scarier as a breast feeding proponent that the formula and the advice were thrown out with the dishwater.  Medicine in the southeast of New Mexico is behind the times by about 40 years.

So anyway we had Auntie Megan and cousin Mila for about three whole days and she was wonderful and Mila held the baby and was the object of interest for the new big brother, Sam who was not in the least bit impressed with the new arrival, with the exception that it was in the way of time with Mommy.  It was a sad sad day when they left.

Several days afterwards we made our way to Roswell and some miles past it to attend the rehearsal dinner and the next day the wedding of a close friend of Alison's.  The new mother was a bridesmaid and I held the baby during the service (which should be a post of it's own - later, I'm still recovering) and Tim chased Sam around outside and that was that.  I knew no one, not that that's ever stopped me, but during the reception/sit down dinner, I did sit with some people Alison worked with in Colorado on a dude ranch and I'd seen their behaviour* at Alison and Tims wedding so I knew I'd fit right in.  And I did.  Each 10 person table was provided two bottles of wine, one red and one white.  Ours was gone before the salads arrived and in spite of impressive whining, no more vino was forthcoming.  Bummer.  Happily I have no shame and I begged a bottle from the table of some teetotaling wet blankets next to us and the party continued.  What this also meant was that baby Grace was passed from guest to guest for the entirety of the eating process.  score.  Then we went home.

Whilst we were enjoying all these life changing events, Alison and Tim also had a house being built this whole time, and while it was meant to be done before my arrival, it was not.  Therefore,the day after the wedding we moved in the new house.  It is muy importante to experience major events all  in a cluster.  Baby, sister, wedding, move in all in 10 days or less.  Nothing stressful or exhausting about any of that.  But Sunday night we did sleep in the new house and it was good.  I had to leave three days after the move, I needed the rest.  So that was my trip to New Mexico.  That and the dilemma of my phone which had a heart attack and died like the day after I arrived.  I was bereft.  Every time I go there, something happens to my phone.  hmmm

I went to Lake Tahoe by myself a few weeks ago.  I went by myself because all my friends ( both of them) are flakes.  So I went alone.  In case you may be thinking that I am mature and self reliant on my own, rest assured that none of that is the case here.  I had pre-knowledge that some girl friends from long ago were in situ just a couple miles from the cabin where  I had temporarily  taken up residence. What this meant was we had a big time at the beach, on boats, at swishy bars and perfecting the art of polite conversation and pithy repartee.  Yup.  Awesome.  

So that was my summer vacation.  How was yours?

Adieu for now mon Amis,