Monday, June 6, 2011

Life in the Fast Lane

What's new?   13th letter of the Greek alphabet.  Hysterical old fraternity joke of starter husbands band-o-brothers.  Getting a very shaky start here.

So the daughter of Steve has appeared from her first year of college for a summer respite with her pappy and yours truly.  She is going to move to North Carolina to go to a chi chi private liberal arts college in Asheville in the fall.  In the mean time she will be hunkering down in the dirt and what not, toiling at an organic vegetable farm for some dinero.  The Spanish reference here is intentional.  But what it means in real life is we get healthy stuff to eat for the next eight weeks.  Except for beets, they are the liver and brains of the vegetable world.  I don't care what you say.  That's my final word on the subject.

Along with her sweet self, the daughter brought many bags, boxes, suitcases and sacks of stuff.  She has a room the size of a cardboard box and I've already taken control of half the closet.  First come first served and all that.  Anyway she's spent several hours pouring through the detritus deciding what she can't possibly live without for eight weeks and what can be shipped off to North Carolina to the welcoming arms of her Mammy.  Naturally this gives me ample opportunity to offer my valuable insight.  I am quite happy to point out that you shouldn't even think about saving anything you haven't touched for a year.  Plus noting that some of those things she covets were used to begin with, and besides the obvious..."what were you thinking" there's also the "I can't believe that was ever cute."  I am well on my way to making myself an indispensable asset to her life and style.

The spouse and I went to the middle daughters house for dinner the other night.  This is the first time I've seen the son-in-law since my little accident.  He was in last place for favorite until he fed me.  He's hovering somewhere between a high two, close to one right now.  Besides he tells a mean joke.  And he likes my cooking, which is what I helped out with, personally overseeing a yummy seat of the pants sauce for the ham and putting my own special touch on the potatoes avec cheese and onions and other secret stuff.  Sadly the spouse dragged me off before we tucked in to the box of See's that was sitting on the counter.  I'm just not over that yet, nor do I intend to be.

Fully exhausted from that outing I slept all the next morning arising at 1:00p in time for Steve to say adieu and take himself off to the land of the doomed he calls work.  You see there was a biker party at the fairgrounds that night and Stevie had to be the chaperon, so to speak.  Not just any bikers, I believe the term "Black Hell's Angels" was used as an adjective.  Swell.  So I guess everything went on just fine till the ho's in the bat-room got to getting and started a little riot.  Girl fights are the stuff that dread, fear and loathing come from.  It also involves the po-leece.  You'll be relieved to discover that my beloved was safe in his office till the Calvary arrived and he could venture forth and add his two cents worth to the mayhem.  Because, the bat-room riot then became a whole sale free for all what with the gentlemen bikers taking advantage of the distractions and hopping over the various bars and grabbing the demon alcohol.  What a life my beloved has.  Mercifully I was unaware of any of these shenanigans being safely at home with the Norco and the dogs and the tee vee.  Bliss.

I wish I hadn't thought about the See's, cause now that's all I can think about.  I've discovered, belatedly, that you are not a prisoner of what Grandma See's thinks should be in a box of candy.  No, no, you can select individually all those tasty tidbits that only you like for your box of candy.  I recommend 2# boxes to save your self wear and tear getting over to the store and like that more than once a day.  My selections always include Bordeaux, the ones with the brown sugar goodness in the middle, and I admit it, the raspberry cremes, the English Toffee, the Molasses Chips, and I could go on, but I'm drooling.  Pretty visual isn't it?  And yes, I had to give up my gym membership temporarily, due to breakage, but I shall start up again, maybe next week and I have plenty to work off.  sigh.

Believe it or not, several days have gone by, I severely edited what I'd blathered on about.  What you read above is edited.  Frightening.

I had a most entertaining weak end.  It started by meeting the horse show mom/snow bound mom/she of the narcotic cocktails in Sonoma in the pouring rain to go house hunting.  We found a cute place and to my mind that should be the end of that.  Alas, I suspect we will venturing forth on more adventures in home buying, but it's all good, cause it's like spending someone else's money, which is v. good right now. 

Since we are in  California where everything is over priced, we asked about the vacant lot next to the house and property we were looking at.  Now this place is reasonably priced for what ever reason, so we thought why not jump in immediately and increase the holding?  So on a busy road, 8 acres with nada on it and a perk test for only a three bed room house?  1. something million.  Wonder why it's been on the market for a century or so? 

Anyway from house hunting to Mani-Pedi's.  Of course to my mind it's always better to have your feeties in a steamy foot bath with a steamy cocktail in your hand, but Starbucks had to do, and it did quite nicely.  From the salon to the Casa Blanca where Muffie lives.  I was quite happy to let her trundle off to clean stalls and muck about whilst I busied myself in the kitchen creating cocktails.  Having imbibed the creations we then, happily buzzed, ventured off once again to whine taste.  Quite a day right? 

We also got to meet up with the children of the horse show mom later on and sit around and make fun of what Dim Sum really looks like.  I am quite happy to go to the third and sixth grade level when it comes to making assessments about stuff.  Dim Sum can get quite entertaining.  By then it was waaaaaaaaay too late to go back to Vacaville, so we all snuggled up in the big bed at Casa Blanca and settled in with the Face Book and what not.  Just like a slumber party.  You are NEVER to old for that.  promise.

Ever living on the edge, tonight I shall attend the graduation of grandson Garrett who is matriculating from sixth grade.  Do I have to buy him a car?  These things can get so confusing.  Anyway I love Garrett.  He is a very happy little man and he cracks me up.  He took a big dive off his dirt bike the other day so we were able to compare scars and what not.  He plays baseball and the trumpet.  Truly an inspiration, except that unfortunate infatuation with guns, so I try to always try to stay on his good side.

My daughter, who is expecting in October, has discovered she is having a boy baby.  This is good because I was deciding to be somewhat miffed that she had changed the middle name of a girl baby so it no longer payed homage to her mammy.  Remember, no one will ever love you as much as your real mother Alison.  Just remember.  Anyway we have a new baby to look forward to in a few short months.  I shall venture in to New Mexico cowboy country for the blessed event.  And to subject the new parents to a clear picture of what child rearing is really about.  And like that.  I can't wait.

So happy reader, I'll sign off for now.  You're welcome.


1 comment:

  1. First things first, Bordeaux are the bestiest best!

    Second, love to read this. You make me smile Lou!