I don't mind telling you that it has taken me all this time to recover from Nanny duties. I am definitely not cut out to tend to the needs and wants, petulant or not, of children. It's not that I don't like them, or maybe it is, but my goodness they are needy little buggers. Like they want food. In the morning. When it should be real quiet like. And they have to be taken to school. What? And if that wasn't enough, then they want to be picked up. Some of you will be shaking your collective heads and murmuring, "yeah but didn't you HAVE children?" Well the answer to that is yes. Yes I do/did. The offspring's recollections of their idyllic childhoods vary tremendously from one to another. Depending on which one you talk to and whether or not they are mad at me I am either the "mother of the year" or "demon seed". Very little middle ground there. Ah well, I'm not going to bore you with those reminisces.
No, I'm going to bore you with what I discovered last weekend while I toiled in the sun at Ram Tap. Not once but twice I was assaulted by two friends who wanted to let me know that I was sending them weekly spam. OMG. Spam. Really? This blog may be many things but it never occurred to me that it could be mistaken for Spam. So,
Says I: "did you open it?"
Says they: " ...eww no. "
Says I: "it's my blog and it's catching the nation by storm (or something.) I can't believe you think it's spam. Just read it. You'll be glad you did."
Says one of them: "OK fine I'll read it." (And then made a hasty departure.)
Says the other one (heretofore known as the humorless one): "I don't have time to read everything that comes in my inbox. When would I make money?"
Why does my life have to be so hard?
I am currently in Petaluma house sitting. I have five horses under my care. I've already been here for about seven hours and nothing has broken or run away. Pretty good so far.
Naturally this has given me some time to view some really outstanding day time television. Like "Cell block G; Women behind Bars." That was uplifting. One of the best parts of day time television, besides the obvious as above, are the ads for what you could be missing. Like next week when TLC will have the entire five days devoted to royal wedding stories and "insider" stuff. Will anyone be going to work? I think not. Probably too, the DVR's of the nation will be in overdrive on Friday busily capturing every moment on every network of the royal nuptials. Really? Good grief. Go mow your lawn. If you weren't invited, and I am miffed, they don't want you there. Period. Ha ha j.k. Of course you should watch. It's royalty for crimenty sakes. Like fairy tales and good over evil and the tooth fairy and Santa. Indulge, fantasize and over eat.
Because I don't have enough to worry about with the puzzle as to where my invite to the royal wedding do is, I must also fret about not being at Badminton this weekend for the biggest horse trials in the world. But I had this gig this weekend, so I couldn't get away. Seriously, if you ever have the chance and you even remotely like horses, try to go at least once to this amazing show. And if you don't like horses, there is always shopping. A lot of shopping. Sue and Linda are there. If you two love me, bring me presents. I love presents. Linda and her husband Terry are the proud owners of a horse that is competing there. They even have a pet rider, though she rides for a foreign country. But we like her anyway. Kick on!
As if that wasn't enough, this weekend, once again, all my friends are at a horse show near San Luis Obispo. I hope you are all having a marvelous time. And a lot of these lucky folks will then just jet off to the bluegrass state to watch Rolex next week. Another of the truly great horse shows. And may I just say Kelly, Tiana and Kristi? All the best. And Kristi? You love dressage. And Tiana? You are fantastic. Kisses to Blueberry. And Kelly? Just do what you do gurl.
I am getting v. nostalgic in my old age.
I'm going to post this now so Sue and Linda have ample time to shop for moi. I'm a fan of just about anything British, but I'd really like a royal wedding mug. And a new Barbour. And maybe some Dewberry's. You know little things.
Ta Ta for now